A Conversation
Steve: Thanks for calling The History Channel, this is Steve, how can I help you today?
Me: Yeah, hi, I'd like to report some technical difficulties with your network.
Steve: Okay, what seems to be the problem?
Me: Well, there's something wrong with the show I'm watching.
Steve: Is the picture fuzzy, or pixelated?
Me: No, there's nothing wrong with the actual picture...
Steve: Okay then, is the sound cutting out or skipping?
Me: No, the sound is technically fine...
Steve: All right then, could you describe the exact problem to me?
Me: Well, I'm watching it, and the show is playing, and everything else seems to be fine, except that they're not talking about World War II.
Steve: .......
Me: .......
Steve: .......they're not?
Me: No. They're showing planes, but they're fueled by jets or something, and they're fighting other jets, but it's not in Europe or Japan.
Steve: ...did you say it's not in Europe or Japan?
Me: Yeah, it's somewhere called "Korea?"
Steve: Are you absolutely sure there's nothing wrong with your tv?
Me: No, I turn it to other channels and they all come in fine. Discovery is showing a program about early primates, TLC is renovating a home, A&E is taking us through the minds of a serial killer and the detectives hunting him down, and naturally I skipped over Animal Planet because no one in their right mind gives a fuck about them. Everyone's showing what they should be showing. But here on History...no WWII.
Steve: Yes, I've punched it up here too and I'm getting the same thing. This is really weird.
Me: I just had a thought...maybe this Korea thing is a classified mission and the show is called "Secret Battles of World War II." Could that be it?
Steve: ...No, we don't have any programming like that, at least not that I'm aware of. Maybe some wires got crossed and it's showing programming from a different network.
Me: I don't think so. Every time they come back from the commercial break, they recap everything that has happened in the show so far including the last three minutes in excruciatingly unnecessary detail. It's got to be History.
Steve: Okay, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to put you on hold and call up to the corporate floor, and see if they can shed some light on this mystery. Can you wait a few minutes?
Me: Sure.
...
Recording: Thank you for your patience. We here at The History Channel are committed to providing you with 24-hour nonstop quality programming dedicated to all aspects of the Second World War. Please continue to hold so that we may assist you.
...
Steve: You still there?
Me: Yep.
Steve: Okay, I just talked to the senior vice-president of programming. And he said that this "Korea" show is perfectly normal.
Me: ...uh, okay.
Steve: He said there was an intense conflict between Western and Eastern forces over the spread of communism in Southeast Asia, culminating in open hostilities in Vietnam in the 60s and...Korea in the 50s.
Me: Ah....So the war didn't actually end with the dropping of the atom bombs?
Steve: Well apparently this is a completely different war, fought over clashing ideologies and economic systems.
Me: So let me get this straight. Something...happened...at some point...that wasn't World War II...and you're...talking about it on The History Channel.
Steve: It would seem so.
Me: ...
Steve: ...
Me: ...Well all right then. Thanks for your help.
Steve: No problem. Have a super day.
Me: Yeah, hi, I'd like to report some technical difficulties with your network.
Steve: Okay, what seems to be the problem?
Me: Well, there's something wrong with the show I'm watching.
Steve: Is the picture fuzzy, or pixelated?
Me: No, there's nothing wrong with the actual picture...
Steve: Okay then, is the sound cutting out or skipping?
Me: No, the sound is technically fine...
Steve: All right then, could you describe the exact problem to me?
Me: Well, I'm watching it, and the show is playing, and everything else seems to be fine, except that they're not talking about World War II.
Steve: .......
Me: .......
Steve: .......they're not?
Me: No. They're showing planes, but they're fueled by jets or something, and they're fighting other jets, but it's not in Europe or Japan.
Steve: ...did you say it's not in Europe or Japan?
Me: Yeah, it's somewhere called "Korea?"
Steve: Are you absolutely sure there's nothing wrong with your tv?
Me: No, I turn it to other channels and they all come in fine. Discovery is showing a program about early primates, TLC is renovating a home, A&E is taking us through the minds of a serial killer and the detectives hunting him down, and naturally I skipped over Animal Planet because no one in their right mind gives a fuck about them. Everyone's showing what they should be showing. But here on History...no WWII.
Steve: Yes, I've punched it up here too and I'm getting the same thing. This is really weird.
Me: I just had a thought...maybe this Korea thing is a classified mission and the show is called "Secret Battles of World War II." Could that be it?
Steve: ...No, we don't have any programming like that, at least not that I'm aware of. Maybe some wires got crossed and it's showing programming from a different network.
Me: I don't think so. Every time they come back from the commercial break, they recap everything that has happened in the show so far including the last three minutes in excruciatingly unnecessary detail. It's got to be History.
Steve: Okay, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to put you on hold and call up to the corporate floor, and see if they can shed some light on this mystery. Can you wait a few minutes?
Me: Sure.
...
Recording: Thank you for your patience. We here at The History Channel are committed to providing you with 24-hour nonstop quality programming dedicated to all aspects of the Second World War. Please continue to hold so that we may assist you.
...
Steve: You still there?
Me: Yep.
Steve: Okay, I just talked to the senior vice-president of programming. And he said that this "Korea" show is perfectly normal.
Me: ...uh, okay.
Steve: He said there was an intense conflict between Western and Eastern forces over the spread of communism in Southeast Asia, culminating in open hostilities in Vietnam in the 60s and...Korea in the 50s.
Me: Ah....So the war didn't actually end with the dropping of the atom bombs?
Steve: Well apparently this is a completely different war, fought over clashing ideologies and economic systems.
Me: So let me get this straight. Something...happened...at some point...that wasn't World War II...and you're...talking about it on The History Channel.
Steve: It would seem so.
Me: ...
Steve: ...
Me: ...Well all right then. Thanks for your help.
Steve: No problem. Have a super day.
posted by Anti at 12:34 AM
2 Comments:
You might have received more insight from an automated system...
Looks like you met someone you can relate to, intelligence wise, lmao.
Leave it to your dumbass to try to take over the history channel. Man if you were half as smart as you think you are, you might have Jethro's education level on the Beverly Hillbillies.
I didn't realize so much stupidity came from Minnesota, you and Prince, lmao.
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